We’re talking together about forgiveness these days
• We’ve seen that forgiveness is at the center of Jesus’ message/life
• If we are followers of Jesus, forgiveness becomes an imperative
• we’ve seen as well that Jesus affords no wiggle room on this one
• and… it is incredibly difficult to live in the land of forgiveness
• life there threatens our core understandings of life
We fear we’ll become doormats there (chumps/stooges)
We fear we will fail there (we feel outrage, how could we let go?)
We fear the offenders will get off scott-free if we lived there
We fear that our boundaries will be violated, our personhood will be overrun, and that we’ll become co-dependent enablers
We fear the offenses we’ve sustained are so deep they must not be forgiven
But for the realness of all our fears, yet Jesus insists we forgive
• There’s a great deal of wisdom that has accumulated over the years of our forebears trying to live out Jesus’ words
• For example, there is a great deal to say about boundary-setting, about co-dependency, about enabling
• There is a great deal to say about our preciousness as humans, and about how doormat is not a spiritual identity
• But the bottom line of all that historical, scriptural wisdom…
in the end, if we are followers of Jesus, we must forgive
Our souls are stunted and imprisoned if we don’t
We descend into hellish soul-destruction if we don’t
Our destinies are thwarted if we don’t
Our wholeness, freedom, and life are limited if we don’t
We retold one of Jesus’ stories 2 weeks ago
He makes it an imperative: you must do this thing!
Last week we began looking at some things we can do to help us move effectively into forgiveness-land
• We looked at how courage is soil from which forgiveness grows
• How citizens of forgiveness-land are courageous in small things
• We sense a nudge to forgive some small thing, but though it’s small, it is still incredibly demanding to forgive
• But if we don’t move out in courage to take the steps when offenses remain small, we never grow into our destiny
• And our destiny is to forgive
• We can do this thing! It’s in us!
• Because God’s Spirit is in us, and God’s Spirit if forgiving
• So we looked at courage
If you didn’t hear either of the last two messages, take a listen online
I want to look at a 2nd thing we can do to become citizens in the land of forgiveness…
• We can forgive ourselves
I read this story online…
The well-known psychiatrist, Karl Menninger begins one of his books telling about a stern-faced, plainly dressed man who stood in Chicago’s loop on a sunny day in September 1972. As pedestrians hurried by on their way to lunch or business, he would solemnly lift his right arm, and pointing to the person nearest him, intone loudly the single word, ‘GUILTY!’ Then without any change of expression, he would resume his stiff stance for a few moments, before repeating the gesture. Then, again, the inexorable raising of his arm, the pointing, and the solemn pronouncing of the one word, ‘GUILTY!’
The effect of this strange pantomime on the people passing by was extraordinary. They would stare at him, hesitate, look away, look at each other, and then at him again, then hurriedly continue on their way. Some mumbled about this guy being a “kook.” But one man spoke for many when he turned to one who was telling the story, and said , ‘How did he know?’
We are all guilty of something that invites forgiveness
• We’ve lied; we’ve been arrogant, we’ve been unkind
• We’ve taken what is not ours to take
• Some of us have cheated on our spouses, or are dancing around it
• Some of us are bigots, have made cutting remarks, passed gossip
• Some of us have sacrificed family to get ahead in business
• We’ve been lazy, gluttonous, mean-spirited
…and we need to be forgiven
There are lots of crimes that go unsolved every year
• That means there are lots of people walking around carrying a deep, secret and internal guilt
• Some of us, carry deep, secret, internal guilt
• And we find ourselves unable to take the first steps toward forgiving ourselves
…for our stupidity, for our malicious intent, for simply being
Then, on top of guilt, there is another, deeper human dynamic
The sense that there is something wrong with us
Now we are Christians
• We see the world through a Story
• And our Story informs how we see Reality
Here’s what our story tells us
• Creation
(glory – image of God w/in us)
• Fall
(sense of something glorious lost, we’re not what we could be)
• Something is wrong, and that something is me
(we get this sense when we come to consciousness, as children
(children self centered: interpret through lens of “me”)
(consequently, blame self: about me, my failure..
(we come to believe, not that something happened to me, but I am the problem)
At the core of the human experience, a sense…
There is something bad wrong, and that something is me
This is a universal human experience
It’s playing in the background of every human being I know
And this sense of self…
• This sense that something is wrong with us…
• This sense that I’m not what I should be, not what I could be…
• I’ve not fulfilled what I could have fulfilled…
• I’ve not become what I could have become…
• I’m not the goodness I aspire to be
…this sense of self is deterministic in everything we do
There is this elusive little demon running around inside us
• Something is wrong with you
• You are flawed
• You are defective
• You are a mistake
• You are a blemish on the glory that could be
And there is plenty of evidence to support little demon’s accusations
1. we do do bad things
• Bad words, bad actions, bad motivations
2. but also, his demon draws from our dual human nature
• There is nobility within us, virtue, selfless, kindness
• And there is selfishness, laziness, maliciousness too
Something is wrong with us
Now at this point in the progression, the human usually does something
• But what it is not is forgive ourselves
• No, instead we try to cover up what is wrong with us
• We try to cope with what is wrong
• We try an simply survive by keeping the bad part of us hidden
In effect, we keep not forgiving ourselves
• We keep suppressing the shame, guilt, and wrong inside ourselves
Now this level of shame is an untenable position
• We can’t live with it
• We need to get on with the business of making a living
• Doing a job, making a life
• Having and raising babies
• Growing up, becoming adult
So to gain the bandwidth we need
• (because shame is a consuming bandwidth sucker)
• We develop survival strategies that help us store away in the attic of our souls, that shame, that guilt, that sense of wrongness
• We find coping strategies; getting-by strategies
We try and be better than the next guy
• We live lives of comparison
• How is my car compared to the school jock?
• How are my grades compared to the bell curve?
• How is my job compared to my cohort?
• How is my income compared to the national median?
How do my family, my kids, my spiritual practices, my emotional intelligence, my compassion, my community service…
• Compare with the average out there?
And many of us, especially the accomplished among us…
• persuade our conscious minds that we’re ok after all
• That we are doing pretty well, that we’re loveable, that we’re good, we’re worthy, we’re making it
• We persuade ourselves that that demon’s voice was just an aberration or a mistake
• That there really is no shame, no guilt
• I’m ok, you’re ok, but especially, I’m ok
And this in turn buys us the inner bandwidth to get out there and succeed in the things we need to do
• But you may recall geometry proofs when you were in school…
• Point on point on point until the end of the page is the answer
• Accepting ourselves is the right answer at the bottom of the page
• But if we come to that answer by the wrong process, it’s still wrong; it’s a solution that doesn’t really work
And when we compare ourselves to others; conclude that we’re ok…
• It’s a faulty process; it won’t support much of our lives
• It won’t work for very long
All it takes for the wheels to come off is for a perfect storm of circumstances to converge on our lives, and bam!
• Here come the sense of shame, guilt, unworth again
• Something is wrong, and that something is me
• Shame and deep sense of disgrace are always waiting in the wings
• A sense of dishonor, of internal discrediting
• Get the right circumstances together, and our worth crumbles in our own estimation
I get to speak to many, many very competent people
Accomplished, capable, and in many ways, quite together
• But again and again I see this…
• It only takes is to stack two or three circumstances back to back…
• A big fight w/ the spouse, plus an investment dropping 12%
• Laid off from the job plus discovering your teen smoking pot
• A series of bounced checks plus a foolish impulse purchase
And bam! that powerful sense of shame and self-unforgiveness comes roaring back like it was never gone
• What we thought we had handled, was never really gone
But one of the ancients, David, has wisdom for us in this regard
Listen to Ps. 32
Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.
Count yourself lucky— God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him.
When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans.
The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up.
But then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.
These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched.
When I kept my shame inside, my bones turned to powder…
When I kept my sinfulness inside, my life was a daylong groan
When I kept my guilt inside, my life-juices dried up
When I kept my failure inside, my life was an unending pressure cooker
Our Story tells us this…
• The glory of God is within us
• The life of God is within us
• The majesty and beauty of the Divine is within us
• It’s in every one of us
But there is another thing inside us
• There is baseness, a lowness, within us
• There is selfishness within us
• There is foulness within us
• There is dishonor, corruption, and immorality
Both speak to us
Both call us
Both make claim to us
• And the typical human inclination is to try our best to push away the latter and work hard to live out the former
And we’ve said nothing at NRCC if not that this won’t work
• Better to be authentic sinner, we’ve said, than inauthentic saint
• Stop play-acting like that 2nd part isn’t there
• Instead strengthen your attachment go the Divine w/in you
• Let the Inner Spirit of God, the Inner Voice of God guide you on a journey, a spiritual journey
• In which the latter dies off, and the former takes root
But we could have said it this way…
• Forgive yourself that secondary nature
• Forgive yourself for your base tendencies
• Forgive yourself for your fear-induced coping strategies
• Forgive yourself for the hold anger has over you
• Forgive yourself for mishandling the fire of your sexual energy
• Forgive yourself for fear-induced character lapses
But forgive yourself by first acknowledging their presence, their power, and the incredible strength they have within you
• Sin is present within me; may even be powerful within me
• But sin is not me
• It is not my true identity
And while it yet lingers…
• While the Spirit of God is still redeeming me, washing me, cleansing me, transforming me…
• I will extend grace to myself in my corrupted state
• I will forgive myself the pain I create myself and others
• I will forgive myself my unfinished, incomplete state
Now something else our Story tells us…
• This secondary nature I see within myself, this fallen/sinful nature, this base and fouled nature…
• It’s on its way out
• It’s being transformed daily, weekly, monthly by Spirit w/in
• When I strengthen my attachment to God
(interestingly one of the ways I do this is by forgiving myself)
• I find that this lower nature, this false self is dismantled
• When I forgive myself, I open the prison doors of my soul
• I release myself into the process of redemption God had designed for my life/soul
David writes this wisdom song for us
• He was sagging into a deep depression
• His conscience tormented him
• His failures were ever before him
• That second, lower nature plagued him
• Had physical, psychological, and emotional manifestations
• It was wasting him away, drying him up
But when I acknowledged what was inside me
• When I did not hide it, or hide from it
• When I put it out there
• I was able to bring it before God
Lord, God… This is what I have done
Lord, God… This is the aberrant nature that rages within me
Lord, God… These immoral impulses have such power within me
I acknowledged what was going on inside myself
I admitted the things I did, and the impulses that drove me to do them
And You, Lord forgave me
And as I see my identity reflected in your face, I begin to forgive me
As I stop hiding my shortcomings…
As I am taken by God’s response…
As I realize I am forgiven…
That I am loved…
Grace surpasses my capacity to fail
And when we get the picture forgiveness is the heart of the universe
• That forgiveness is simply the way things are
• The way things work
• Something profound happens to us…
• Our souls begin to rest
• Our inner beings cease their anxious striving
• Peace becomes our inheritance
And an interesting side by-product…
• Once we acknowledge that we ourselves are forgiven by God
• When we see that forgiveness toward us is the heart of universe…
• And we begin to reflect that Truth by forgiving ourselves…
• We find ourselves enhanced in our capacity to forgive others
When we don’t hide from that secondary nature…
But acknowledge, bring it up, confess that it is there
• And when we discover that God’s forgiveness is always present
• And when we embrace that forgiveness unto ourselves
• When our own minds and hearts begin to reflect the God-Nature of forgiveness toward our own souls…
…amazingly, we become powerful forgivers in our own right
…at peace within ourselves
…extenders of forgiveness to others
…who in turn become at peace within themselves
…and extenders of forgiveness toward others
Know this…
God holds nothing against you
So don’t hide your sin within yourself out of fear
Don’t let shame imprison your shortcomings
Let it out!
And like I did, David says, you’ll find that when you make a clean breast of things before God…
• When you make a clean breast of things before yourself…
• You experience the forgiveness of God that is always there
• And you will be able to reflect that always-present forgiveness toward yourself
And the pressure will be off…
Your shame will dissolve…
Your sin will disappear
And in this state of peace, you will be able to forgive others
You will see the mountain of grace that makes sin, offense, weakness and failure, just not that big a thing
And the growing mountain of forgiveness in your own heart will trump the mountain of offense and pain caused you by others
We’re talking together about forgiveness these days
• We’ve seen that forgiveness is at the center of Jesus’ message/life
• If we are followers of Jesus, forgiveness becomes an imperative
• we’ve seen as well that Jesus affords no wiggle room on this one
• and… it is incredibly difficult to live in the land of forgiveness
• life there threatens our core understandings of life
We fear we’ll become doormats there (chumps/stooges)
We fear we will fail there (we feel outrage, how could we let go?)
We fear the offenders will get off scott-free if we lived there
We fear that our boundaries will be violated, our personhood will be overrun, and that we’ll become co-dependent enablers
We fear the offenses we’ve sustained are so deep they must not be forgiven
But for the realness of all our fears, yet Jesus insists we forgive
• There’s a great deal of wisdom that has accumulated over the years of our forebears trying to live out Jesus’ words
• For example, there is a great deal to say about boundary-setting, about co-dependency, about enabling
• There is a great deal to say about our preciousness as humans, and about how doormat is not a spiritual identity
• But the bottom line of all that historical, scriptural wisdom…
in the end, if we are followers of Jesus, we must forgive
Our souls are stunted and imprisoned if we don’t
We descend into hellish soul-destruction if we don’t
Our destinies are thwarted if we don’t
Our wholeness, freedom, and life are limited if we don’t
We retold one of Jesus’ stories 2 weeks ago
He makes it an imperative: you must do this thing!
Last week we began looking at some things we can do to help us move effectively into forgiveness-land
• We looked at how courage is soil from which forgiveness grows
• How citizens of forgiveness-land are courageous in small things
• We sense a nudge to forgive some small thing, but though it’s small, it is still incredibly demanding to forgive
• But if we don’t move out in courage to take the steps when offenses remain small, we never grow into our destiny
• And our destiny is to forgive
• We can do this thing! It’s in us!
• Because God’s Spirit is in us, and God’s Spirit if forgiving
• So we looked at courage
If you didn’t hear either of the last two messages, take a listen online
I want to look at a 2nd thing we can do to become citizens in the land of forgiveness…
• We can forgive ourselves
I read this story online…
The well-known psychiatrist, Karl Menninger begins one of his books telling about a stern-faced, plainly dressed man who stood in Chicago’s loop on a sunny day in September 1972. As pedestrians hurried by on their way to lunch or business, he would solemnly lift his right arm, and pointing to the person nearest him, intone loudly the single word, ‘GUILTY!’ Then without any change of expression, he would resume his stiff stance for a few moments, before repeating the gesture. Then, again, the inexorable raising of his arm, the pointing, and the solemn pronouncing of the one word, ‘GUILTY!’
The effect of this strange pantomime on the people passing by was extraordinary. They would stare at him, hesitate, look away, look at each other, and then at him again, then hurriedly continue on their way. Some mumbled about this guy being a “kook.” But one man spoke for many when he turned to one who was telling the story, and said , ‘How did he know?’
We are all guilty of something that invites forgiveness
• We’ve lied; we’ve been arrogant, we’ve been unkind
• We’ve taken what is not ours to take
• Some of us have cheated on our spouses, or are dancing around it
• Some of us are bigots, have made cutting remarks, passed gossip
• Some of us have sacrificed family to get ahead in business
• We’ve been lazy, gluttonous, mean-spirited
…and we need to be forgiven
There are lots of crimes that go unsolved every year
• That means there are lots of people walking around carrying a deep, secret and internal guilt
• Some of us, carry deep, secret, internal guilt
• And we find ourselves unable to take the first steps toward forgiving ourselves
…for our stupidity, for our malicious intent, for simply being
Then, on top of guilt, there is another, deeper human dynamic
The sense that there is something wrong with us
Now we are Christians
• We see the world through a Story
• And our Story informs how we see Reality
Here’s what our story tells us
• Creation
(glory – image of God w/in us)
• Fall
(sense of something glorious lost, we’re not what we could be)
• Something is wrong, and that something is me
(we get this sense when we come to consciousness, as children
(children self centered: interpret through lens of “me”)
(consequently, blame self: about me, my failure..
(we come to believe, not that something happened to me, but I am the problem)
At the core of the human experience, a sense…
There is something bad wrong, and that something is me
This is a universal human experience
It’s playing in the background of every human being I know
And this sense of self…
• This sense that something is wrong with us…
• This sense that I’m not what I should be, not what I could be…
• I’ve not fulfilled what I could have fulfilled…
• I’ve not become what I could have become…
• I’m not the goodness I aspire to be
…this sense of self is deterministic in everything we do
There is this elusive little demon running around inside us
• Something is wrong with you
• You are flawed
• You are defective
• You are a mistake
• You are a blemish on the glory that could be
And there is plenty of evidence to support little demon’s accusations
1. we do do bad things
• Bad words, bad actions, bad motivations
2. but also, his demon draws from our dual human nature
• There is nobility within us, virtue, selfless, kindness
• And there is selfishness, laziness, maliciousness too
Something is wrong with us
Now at this point in the progression, the human usually does something
• But what it is not is forgive ourselves
• No, instead we try to cover up what is wrong with us
• We try to cope with what is wrong
• We try an simply survive by keeping the bad part of us hidden
In effect, we keep not forgiving ourselves
• We keep suppressing the shame, guilt, and wrong inside ourselves
Now this level of shame is an untenable position
• We can’t live with it
• We need to get on with the business of making a living
• Doing a job, making a life
• Having and raising babies
• Growing up, becoming adult
So to gain the bandwidth we need
• (because shame is a consuming bandwidth sucker)
• We develop survival strategies that help us store away in the attic of our souls, that shame, that guilt, that sense of wrongness
• We find coping strategies; getting-by strategies
We try and be better than the next guy
• We live lives of comparison
• How is my car compared to the school jock?
• How are my grades compared to the bell curve?
• How is my job compared to my cohort?
• How is my income compared to the national median?
How do my family, my kids, my spiritual practices, my emotional intelligence, my compassion, my community service…
• Compare with the average out there?
And many of us, especially the accomplished among us…
• persuade our conscious minds that we’re ok after all
• That we are doing pretty well, that we’re loveable, that we’re good, we’re worthy, we’re making it
• We persuade ourselves that that demon’s voice was just an aberration or a mistake
• That there really is no shame, no guilt
• I’m ok, you’re ok, but especially, I’m ok
And this in turn buys us the inner bandwidth to get out there and succeed in the things we need to do
• But you may recall geometry proofs when you were in school…
• Point on point on point until the end of the page is the answer
• Accepting ourselves is the right answer at the bottom of the page
• But if we come to that answer by the wrong process, it’s still wrong; it’s a solution that doesn’t really work
And when we compare ourselves to others; conclude that we’re ok…
• It’s a faulty process; it won’t support much of our lives
• It won’t work for very long
All it takes for the wheels to come off is for a perfect storm of circumstances to converge on our lives, and bam!
• Here come the sense of shame, guilt, unworth again
• Something is wrong, and that something is me
• Shame and deep sense of disgrace are always waiting in the wings
• A sense of dishonor, of internal discrediting
• Get the right circumstances together, and our worth crumbles in our own estimation
I get to speak to many, many very competent people
Accomplished, capable, and in many ways, quite together
• But again and again I see this…
• It only takes is to stack two or three circumstances back to back…
• A big fight w/ the spouse, plus an investment dropping 12%
• Laid off from the job plus discovering your teen smoking pot
• A series of bounced checks plus a foolish impulse purchase
And bam! that powerful sense of shame and self-unforgiveness comes roaring back like it was never gone
• What we thought we had handled, was never really gone
But one of the ancients, David, has wisdom for us in this regard
Listen to Ps. 32
Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be— you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean.
Count yourself lucky— God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him.
When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans.
The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up.
But then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone— my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared.
These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we’ll be on high ground, untouched.
When I kept my shame inside, my bones turned to powder…
When I kept my sinfulness inside, my life was a daylong groan
When I kept my guilt inside, my life-juices dried up
When I kept my failure inside, my life was an unending pressure cooker
Our Story tells us this…
• The glory of God is within us
• The life of God is within us
• The majesty and beauty of the Divine is within us
• It’s in every one of us
But there is another thing inside us
• There is baseness, a lowness, within us
• There is selfishness within us
• There is foulness within us
• There is dishonor, corruption, and immorality
Both speak to us
Both call us
Both make claim to us
• And the typical human inclination is to try our best to push away the latter and work hard to live out the former
And we’ve said nothing at NRCC if not that this won’t work
• Better to be authentic sinner, we’ve said, than inauthentic saint
• Stop play-acting like that 2nd part isn’t there
• Instead strengthen your attachment go the Divine w/in you
• Let the Inner Spirit of God, the Inner Voice of God guide you on a journey, a spiritual journey
• In which the latter dies off, and the former takes root
But we could have said it this way…
• Forgive yourself that secondary nature
• Forgive yourself for your base tendencies
• Forgive yourself for your fear-induced coping strategies
• Forgive yourself for the hold anger has over you
• Forgive yourself for mishandling the fire of your sexual energy
• Forgive yourself for fear-induced character lapses
But forgive yourself by first acknowledging their presence, their power, and the incredible strength they have within you
• Sin is present within me; may even be powerful within me
• But sin is not me
• It is not my true identity
And while it yet lingers…
• While the Spirit of God is still redeeming me, washing me, cleansing me, transforming me…
• I will extend grace to myself in my corrupted state
• I will forgive myself the pain I create myself and others
• I will forgive myself my unfinished, incomplete state
Now something else our Story tells us…
• This secondary nature I see within myself, this fallen/sinful nature, this base and fouled nature…
• It’s on its way out
• It’s being transformed daily, weekly, monthly by Spirit w/in
• When I strengthen my attachment to God
(interestingly one of the ways I do this is by forgiving myself)
• I find that this lower nature, this false self is dismantled
• When I forgive myself, I open the prison doors of my soul
• I release myself into the process of redemption God had designed for my life/soul
David writes this wisdom song for us
• He was sagging into a deep depression
• His conscience tormented him
• His failures were ever before him
• That second, lower nature plagued him
• Had physical, psychological, and emotional manifestations
• It was wasting him away, drying him up
But when I acknowledged what was inside me
• When I did not hide it, or hide from it
• When I put it out there
• I was able to bring it before God
Lord, God… This is what I have done
Lord, God… This is the aberrant nature that rages within me
Lord, God… These immoral impulses have such power within me
I acknowledged what was going on inside myself
I admitted the things I did, and the impulses that drove me to do them
And You, Lord forgave me
And as I see my identity reflected in your face, I begin to forgive me
As I stop hiding my shortcomings…
As I am taken by God’s response…
As I realize I am forgiven…
That I am loved…
Grace surpasses my capacity to fail
And when we get the picture forgiveness is the heart of the universe
• That forgiveness is simply the way things are
• The way things work
• Something profound happens to us…
• Our souls begin to rest
• Our inner beings cease their anxious striving
• Peace becomes our inheritance
And an interesting side by-product…
• Once we acknowledge that we ourselves are forgiven by God
• When we see that forgiveness toward us is the heart of universe…
• And we begin to reflect that Truth by forgiving ourselves…
• We find ourselves enhanced in our capacity to forgive others
When we don’t hide from that secondary nature…
But acknowledge, bring it up, confess that it is there
• And when we discover that God’s forgiveness is always present
• And when we embrace that forgiveness unto ourselves
• When our own minds and hearts begin to reflect the God-Nature of forgiveness toward our own souls…
…amazingly, we become powerful forgivers in our own right
…at peace within ourselves
…extenders of forgiveness to others
…who in turn become at peace within themselves
…and extenders of forgiveness toward others
Know this…
God holds nothing against you
So don’t hide your sin within yourself out of fear
Don’t let shame imprison your shortcomings
Let it out!
And like I did, David says, you’ll find that when you make a clean breast of things before God…
• When you make a clean breast of things before yourself…
• You experience the forgiveness of God that is always there
• And you will be able to reflect that always-present forgiveness toward yourself
And the pressure will be off…
Your shame will dissolve…
Your sin will disappear
And in this state of peace, you will be able to forgive others
You will see the mountain of grace that makes sin, offense, weakness and failure, just not that big a thing
And the growing mountain of forgiveness in your own heart will trump the mountain of offense and pain caused you by others
Be it so